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Monday, May 31, 2010

Henry Rollins Quotes

“Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong, and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.”

“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”

“I don't want to know. I don't need it. I don't want the information that millions of people have. I don't want to be fed these boring facts and figures. Then you'll become one of the masses. I'd rather starve my mind a bit and have to search out nutrition in stranger places.”

“I walk the straight lines. I walk through the summer nights. I walk the silver rope of dreams. I walk through dawns of dawns. There’s not a lot that isn’t dying. I see people parading in front of each other like insects in a killing jar, watching each other die. I walk the straight lines throught the Christ machines. Through the eyes of throwaway people. Through the wards and the shores and the cracks in the skulls of the sidewalks. Through love’s howling vacancy. I am the freedom soil. I dig my own grave. I resurrect myself every night. I am all things to myself. I walk the straight lines. I walk the spiders’s jailhouse. I walk the think line, the thin line, the white line and all the line in between. I wish I could trade in my eyes.”


Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Killing Joke: Madness is the Emergency Exit

"So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable- remember there's always madness. Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away... forever."

Superman Dialogue from Kill Bill Vol 1



My Pillow

I've Replaced All of Your Friends

Technology is bittersweet.

Unusual Words A, B.

Click on image above to view.

Daniel Tosh

"When I was a kid, even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street. I'd be, like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's, like, "Whatever, queer!" That's a hate crime!"

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

"I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun."

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fake...We have shows like Extreme Make-Over: "I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it."

"We wonder why other countries hate us. We have a game show in our country called Survivor. It's a game in our country. We put people on an island, where people already live, to survive 30 days for a million dollars. Hello I have lived here for 30 years may I have a piece of bread? HAHA No this is a game to us."

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.' 

Those who have failed

Those who have failed at relationships over and over again because of their own ignorance or self-sabotaging behavior have no business whatsoever in giving relationship advice.

If you want good advice on how to succeed at something, ask someone who is there or who has been there.  You wouldn't ask a morbidly obese person for their advice on weight loss.  You wouldn't ask a convict on how to be a law-abiding citizen.  You wouldn't ask someone in severe debt for tips on investments.  This should be true of relationship advice.  Friendship advice.  Honesty advice. 

And unless you have something positive to show for your status regarding these things, please don't preach to people about "shoulds" and "should-nots" about problems in relationships, particularly when you are killing every single relationship for failure of working through issues and processing each hurdle.  When you know something, then step up and give your opinion.  Until you have something to show for all your wisdom and insight on a subject you've yet to succeed at presently, don't act as though you are an authority or more insightful than anyone else.  You aren't.

Take that spotlight and point it in the mirror before opening your mouth. You might be surprised by what you find there.

This has been a public service announcement.

Brought to you by Poisoned Pills and Soda Pop.

No Alarms and No Surprises- Radiohead|+No+Surprises

"A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide,

with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silence, silence.

This is my final fit,
my final bellyache

with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises please.

Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden.

No alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises, please."

I’d kill for a little passion here

I’ve watched a change in you. I’ve watched a change in me. I’ve watched the world evolve, grow, wither, and die. I’ve watched a lifetime complete itself and revolve on itself and implode into itself. I’ve watched the change rattle and vibrate so deep within that the without shivered and shuttered violently. I’ve watched eyes turn red and heads fall, nails scratch, and fingers stiffen in twisted poses as hands pawed desperately to catch something- anything- in the pure nothing.

They say that even if you question being able to find something, just reaching out for something- anything- will yield results that only faith can provide. I’ve watched myself reach and clutch and grasp onto emptiness. I’ve yet to find anything.

I’d kill for a little passion here. I’d kill to feel passionate about anything. I’d kill to have that passion returned. At all.

I wouldn’t know what to do if…
I’ve never been faced with the situation if…
I have not been given instructions on how to handle if…

I’ve never been given a full chance to let me be known. It’s probably for the best. It’s probably all for nothing.

I’ve watched myself in the mirror. I’ve seen the changes in my skin. I’ve heard the disembodied screams and wails when the lights are out. I’ve felt the muscles twist, tighten, and contort. I’ve felt tenderness grow harsh. I’ve nurtured happy feelings and nursed the wounds that soon came to follow. I’ve turned away. I’ve given it away. I’m looking for a way.

I’ve witnessed beauty. I’ve yet to observe it here. I’ve witnessed love grow and develop and blossom into something bigger than the sum of its parts. I’ve yet to observe it here. I’ve witnessed faith in a higher presence, but I’ve yet to feel it here.

I can't say goodbye without looking away. I’m looking for a way.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Grabbed Quote

"No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread."

What are you looking at?

"I am Jack's broken heart."
Fight Club is on today and distracting me from my responsibilities.  That's actually funny when you think about it.

Just. Let. Go.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Former Narcissism Revealed

Rainbow Iris

We were talking about eyes tonight. And I was bored.


In a world where superpowers exist, this one line explains everything. Ever.

The Moral of the Story is...

Confession: I learn too many things from this show, and identify with it too much.  This is one of my favorite parts from the entire show, because, well, it applies.

: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! And shut up! Okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long!
[to Dr. Cox]
J.D.: And you know what? Glare all you want, Big Dog, okay, cause I'm not afraid of you. Oh, no! Jordan's only paying attention to the baby! That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me! Isn't it? Look at me!
[to Turk and Carla]
J.D.: And you two? Come on, you're arguing since you got engaged? Wow, you're probably the first couple that's ever done that, ever! It can't be that you're just scared, is it?
[to Elliot]
J.D.: And you! Y-you know what, let's just - let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone. Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!"

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm so happy!

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

From the MayoClinic Website:
"Broken heart syndrome is a temporary heart condition brought on by stressful situations, such as the death of a loved one. Many people who have broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or may think they're having a heart attack. These broken heart syndrome symptoms may be brought on by the heart's reaction to a surge of stress hormones. In broken heart syndrome, a part of your heart temporarily enlarges, a condition called cardiomyopathy.
First described medically in 1991 by Japanese doctors, the condition was originally called takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Takotsubo is a type of pot used by Japanese fishermen to capture octopuses. When doctors take X-ray images of a person who's experiencing broken heart syndrome, part of his or her heart resembles the pot. Today, the condition is also referred to as stress cardiomyopathy, stress-induced cardiomyopathy or apical ballooning syndrome."

To Write Love on Her Arms

To Write Love on Her Arms

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved.  You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story.  You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world.  My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time.  We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments.  You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck. 
We all wake to the human condition.  We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss.  Millions of people live with problems of pain.  Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay.  We know that pain is very real.  It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real. 
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.  We're seeing it happen.  We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need.  People sitting across from a counselor for the first time.  People stepping into treatment.  In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline.  We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take.  We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change. 
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone. 
The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.  
The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. 
The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
The vision is better endings.  The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships.  The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love.  The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise.  The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.  
The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.  
The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.  
The vision is hope, and hope is real.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

To Write Love On Her Arms Black Tote

Confession of sorts

Confession: I have a folder under website bookmarks called "Avoid". This site is under that folder.

I Said No! No!


I'll be honest and say I'm most amused by the other birds just looking at the unique weirdo.

Social Grid

Where are you? I'm closest to being a scenester... Goddamnit.

Sexual Predator

The fishnets.  They turn us on.

Ease off.

For the betterment of mankind, please honor this request.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

She has nothing nice to say...

So she'll tell stories full of half-truths.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Laughter is the best medicine...

Laugh, love, or die, because anything in between isn't worth my goddamn time.

Status Update

Natalie Dee says...

Your friends do it! Your family members do it! Now you can too!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This blog is full of fail...

So garish.  The background used to be yellow, so the purple is an improvement, and this twat posts about glitter vampires and unicorns like they are good things.  Unicorns kill things, people:

That being said, here's how this poisoned little pill feels about unicorns.

PS, if you didn't get it, Sunshine and Pixie Sticks is my overly sarcastic response to life.  Take that!

Tool - Aenima Video

Monday, May 17, 2010

Monsters and Ghosts: Poisoned Words

(Another soul passes…)

Left alone on a cold Indianapolis night, staring at a blinking cursor in the window and drinking soda pop, I’m trying to feel some of its sweetness absorbed and feel the cool seep into my hot heart and brain- to cool this temper of mine.  I know that the reality is that the cold air can’t get nearly cold enough tonight to distract me from the anxiousness I’m feeling.  I know that the reality is that the soda pop’s acidic nature is seeping into the lining of my throat and stomach slowly deteriorating its constitution.  It’s a good reflection of my overall constitution tonight.

While I haven’t read anything by him recently, Stephen King is quoted to have said “...Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”

I am the monster tonight.  That poisoned pill that everyone steers clear of- they should.  They should run before the monster gets them too.  It’s a cycle.  Like werewolves or vampires.  Once one sinks her teeth in, either it’s over or you’re caught.  Having witnessed this event or experiencing the event, a person is changed.  You see things just a little bit differently- as if everything were moved slightly to the left while you weren’t looking.

I feel the teeth sink in.

I don’t have an outlet like I used to.  I don’t have the music anymore.  I don’t have a passion for it like I once had.  I don’t sketch the monsters as I see them in my mind’s eye or feel them as I morph.  Maybe I should- the sketch pad was a mirror I could capture the poisonous monster inside of and never let him out.

Something captures me by the shoulders- it pulls my attention towards it.  How can such a cowardly thing be so bold?  I’m caught in its grasp.  I’m the mirror now.

I sink my teeth in.

The ghost is a different creature.  She’s been present since memories formed.  I feel like she’s older than I am.  She can be both poison and soda- deadly or reassuring.  She’s that pulsating sound you hear in your ears when it’s too quiet.  She’s the one who whispers sickly nothings into those same ears when things aren’t quite right in the real world, and sometimes when they are.  I couldn’t capture her reflection in anything.  I couldn’t find her by sight.  But she’s there, never quite making her presence fully known when she comes about.  She’s loneliness.  Her mask is solitude.  She’s self-degradation, parading around as self-reflection.  She’s hell, and her stage act is perfection in balance. Watch her go.

She works with the monster- bosom buddies.  She likes to bring it out to play.  She is an emotional vampire, and once she gets what she needs from my soul, she seeks it elsewhere.

She rarely finds a bottom to my soul, however.  She and the monster and I, we occupy ourselves plenty without bringing anyone else in.  Not this night.
I hear a ringing in my ears.  They are at bay.  They’ve backed off now that I’ve spoken of them.  I’m tattle-telling.  I’ll get beat up in the playground later by friends, family, the monster, and the ghost.

I opened my trap tonight and spoke on all their behalves.

I take full responsibility.

(I’m sorry- what was that name again?)

…Resuscitation failed. Call it.
Next, please?

The Hanged Man- Is this your card?

Because it certainly is mine.

Sometimes they win.

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.” -Chuck Palahniuk

A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.” (True of Aries). 

Why is it that hate comes out so easily, It gets trapped inside.
In time we hate that which we often fear.” Shakespeare

Hatred paralyses life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” MLK

I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do so. I do not know, but I feel it, and am in agony

The heart that can no longer love passionately, must with fury hate”  Jean Baptiste Racine

...Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” Stephen King

From Outre Gallery ^^


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Natalie Dee says...

From Natalie Dee

The Sharing Machine

Share by buying their stuff: Sharing Machine

Natalie Dee, Married to the Sea, and Toothpaste for Dinner.

Mini Top Hats / Cocktail Hats

This hat was created as a wedding hat.  This is now in the care of my sister, as we have a photoshoot planned with it!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Chainmail Headdress

Chainmail Headdress made from bronze and blue anodized aluminum rings and shells. Weaves used: expanding 4-1, chain, european 4-1, mobius, box chain, and spiral. In the back is one long spiral weave with two smaller weaves made from blue rings. They are centered at the back.  I may remove the two blue mobius pieces from the front and place them at the back.

This is the first headdress with an expanding top that I have made.  I have made one tiara in the past, but it was a simple european 4-1 with teardop pieces.

For other chainmail item, please see my develop Etsy shop here:

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My radiostation encourages being numb to the world's goings on.
Listener discretion is advised.

This just in- idiot drowns in gas mask...



Chess with Beer. Alcoholism might factor in...


Lightsaber Tattoo

Star Signs

Monday, May 10, 2010