We were born on April Fools Day, and what a foolish thing we are. Like Adderall'ed babies on the playground, we flit and flutter to our heart's content until it explodes, overdosed on our own self-indulgent whims.
Happy Birthday to us, indeed! Where's our damned cake? 'Fie!' we cry, and dip our faces in the powdered sugar before the icing is complete. We are a sight to behold, as our bellies gurgle the sound of our carbonated cocaine sweeties.
We want it now.
Choose your poison.